ROOTS & WINGS : Handcuffing our families
Posted on Monday, October 13, 2008
One of the moms in my parish tells me that they have designated her brother to adopt and raise their child should something happen to them. If Arkansas voters pass “ Initiated Act 1 ” on the November ballot, she would be prohibited from doing so. Even though her brother regularly baby-sits, lives in the same town, goes to the same church, teaches Sunday School, teaches in the public school and loves her child as she does, he would be prohibited by law from following his sister’s wishes for her own child. Her brother is gay and partnered with a wonderful companion whom they all regard as family.
The Arkansas Family Council wants the government to interfere with this mother’s decision about what is in the best interest of her own child. They want to prohibit everyone — straight or gay — from adopting or fostering a child if they are living with someone outside of marriage.
I know an unmarried couple who adopted a special needs child from Vietnam and saved that child from permanent life in an impoverished orphanage. The Arkansas Family Council wants to forbid this family’s compassionate, loving generosity.
There are 3, 700 Arkansas foster children who need homes and only 1, 100 foster families offering to host them. But the Arkansas Family Council wants to restrict potentially qualified families with a blanket rule that prohibits unmarried adults who live together from fostering or adopting.
Most everybody else who cares for children disagrees with the Arkansas Family Council. The doctors who take care of children have voiced their opposition to Initiated Act 1 through their state chapter of the Academy of Pediatrics. The Arkansas Chapter of the National Association of Social Workers and the Arkansas Psychological Association are part of a coalition opposed to this arbitrary restriction. The Foster Care Alumni of America has spoken out against it. And the state’s leading voice on behalf of children and families for the past 30 years, the Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families, opposes the measure. (Disclosure: I am a member of the board of AACF. )
Gov. Mike Beebe questioned a prohibition on unmarried couples for foster care by asking, “ Is the best interest of the child in foster care best handled by a blanket policy prohibiting it or by a case-by-case situation, particularly in the light of the fact that we’ve got a problem with the number of foster families ? ”
An impressive list of 13 retired judges answered that question. Three former Arkansas Supreme Court Chief Justices were among a group that says Initiated Act 1 “ would limit the ability of every Arkansas judge to choose custodial parents who would serve the best interests of vulnerable children.... Instead of imposing a blanket rule that would apply to every case, the needs of these children, and the best means of satisfying their needs, should be left to elected judges to decide case-by-case. ” These judges have been listening to child custody cases for years. The judges urge the defeat of Initiated Act 1.
We need more foster families, not fewer. We need child care professionals and juvenile judges free to make decisions about what is in the best interests of each child in a personal, individualized way. We need less prejudice and more love. We don’t need the government telling a mom that she can’t name her own brother as her child’s adoptive parent in her own will.
For the sake of families and for the children, vote “ No ” on Initiated Act 1.
Lowell Grisham is an Episcopal priest from Fayetteville.
FEEDBACK:
Something to say about this topic? Submit a Letter to the Editor online