A Mother’s Musing : E-mail may provide golden opportunity to help
Posted on Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Some good news has come to me by e-mail. It seems I was selected by some unknown, random process to receive five million six hundred and forty thousand Euros. I don't actually know how much that would be in American dollars, but I'm guessing it's a lot.
All I have to do to receive this bounty is to promise to help the poor. I can do that. I don't mind helping the poor at all. I may keep the five million and use the six hundred forty thousand for helping the poor.
First, I'll need to build myself a nice office with lots of state-of-the-art techie stuff to prepare to help the poor. Maybe I'll hire a staff, too. I have a husband and a couple of children who would be great at helping the poor.
It's not clear why this woman chose my e-mail address to make her offer. She says she is from the United Kingdom and her deceased husband left her all these funds. I'm sure she's telling the truth, but I have to wonder why an English widow would use a phrase like "get a child outside my matrimonial home. "Maybe "adopt"is an American word ?
I feel like I know my benefactor and I'm very sorry to hear that she has only a few weeks to live. I guess it's the cancer that's killing her, although she also mentioned a stroke. That would be why she's conducting this important transaction through email. At first I thought someone handing over all those millions would want to meet me in person, but she must have a problem traveling with all those health issues.
I've gotten similar e-mails in the past, but I know this one is legit because she included two photos - one of her and her deceased husband (he was the one who earned all those millions ) and one of her in a hospital bed. Just looking at the photos, you know it's got to be true. They even look British.
She warned me that I have to act fast. She doesn't have very long to make her decision and if I don't respond quickly, she may find another person to spend her money on the poor and downtrodden. I want to be the one who helps all those poor people. I'll need to buy myself a big SUV so I can travel around and dispense charity. I know that'll cost some money, but I'll consider it an investment in the future of my philanthropy. I bet all the top philanthropists drive big old SUVs. Or Limos. Maybe I should use a limo for my charitable driving ?
I'm also supposed to pray for the woman who e-mailed me. I think that it would be pretty easy to pray for someone who wants to give me all that money. She'll be "in the bosom of the Almighty"anyway, so she won't need much more from me.
I believe her when she says," Whosoever that wants to serve the Almighty must serve him with all his heart and mind and always be prayerful all through your life. "I'm not really sure what that means, but I'm sure she's correct.
There is the problem of the dead husband's relatives wanting some of the fortune. My benefactor writes that they are around her all the time, trying to get a hold of that money. But she knows they won't spend it on the poor and downtrodden which is why she has to take this drastic action. As long as I act quickly, I can avoid that complication. I don't think the dead husband's relatives will travel all the way to Arkansas to lay claim to his fortune. At least I hope not.
So I'm deciding exactly how to word my reply. I don't want to appear too eager to help the downtrodden, but I can't afford to give her "room to source for an individual for this same purpose. "I'm ready to help the poor as soon as possible, or when she dies, whichever comes first.
I know this is a great opportunity, not only for me, but for all the poor and downtrodden around me. I want to "provide succour to poor and indigent persons, orphanages and widows and for propagating peace in the universe. "And maybe pay for some English language lessons for the people who write all these e-mails.
Reporter Lynn Atkins can be contacted by e-mail at lynna @ nwanews. com.
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